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Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, by Jay
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Understand your psyche in a clear and comprehensive way, and resolve deep-seated emotional issues. Self-Therapy makes the power of a cutting-edge psychotherapy approach accessible to everyone. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) has been spreading rapidly across the country in the past decade. It is incredibly effective on a wide variety of life issues, such as self-esteem, procrastination, depression, and relationship issues. IFS is also user-friendly; it helps you to comprehend the complexity of your psyche. Dr. Earley shows how IFS is a complete method for psychological healing that you can use on your own.
Self-Therapy is also helpful for therapists because it presents the IFS model in such detail that it is a manual for the method.
Many times in the past I used to say to friends, "I am at least two people." I often found myself doing something I really did not want to do, thinking things that I did not want to think, and feeling emotions I did not want to feel and over which I felt I did not have control. It seemed like there was another person inside me. On reading Self Therapy, I was so excited to find out what was going on. Many things I could not previously figure out quickly fell into place. For me it was a very exciting experience--finding out so much about myself. Not only that but this book also taught me how to 'rehabilitate' the 'other me'--or many other 'me's!
Reading this book was one of the most enlightening experiences I have had. It is very well written and the author's attitude comes across very clearly and powerfully. There is no doubt but it written with a kind and altruistic heart and with the purpose of really helping individuals to understand and help� themselves and integrate all their part. Self Therapy takes its place among the most treasured books on my bookshelves.
-- Paddy Linehan, Thailand
Self-Therapy was a big help to me in the beginning when I didn't have much
knowledge of IFS or myself. The transcripts were intriguing because I looked at
other people's experience in the book and recognized my parts. This helped me
to realize that I'm not the only one with these difficult feelings. In my journal I
wrote out the answers to each of the questions for my parts, and this brought it all
together for me.
-- Mindy Lamberson, Des Moines, Iowa
- Sales Rank: #187914 in Books
- Published on: 2009-09-15
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.02" h x .74" w x 5.98" l, 1.07 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 332 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Perhaps the best self-help book ever written
By DrB
I generally think self-help books promise a lot more than they deliver. I've come to believe that this book is an absolute game changer in the world of behavioral medicine.
So, how do you know if this book will be helpful for you?
"Self-Therapy" is based on Internal Family Systems therapy. (Think--a system of therapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but with a rather different approach.) It is geared toward individuals who do what I call "triggering". If you tend to have very turbulent relationships, or keep rehashing past offenses in your head, or get told by your spouse that you act like you have two personalities, or are a pathological people-pleaser, or find yourself frequently repeating that behavior you decided never to do again, or have panic attacks over trivial threats, or are easily hurt or offended, or have been told you are manipulative, or have overwhelming fears of not being believed, being abandoned, not being good enough, etc, then you are probably "triggering". As you progress toward middle age, you will likely find that these behaviors become increasingly problematic in your relationships. If this sounds like you, consider getting this book.
I am a family physician and was becoming frustrated with an inability to help my patients with (axis II) personality disorders understand and heal their condition. Meds don't work very well and traditional counseling is only marginally better. I knew how to recognize a patient with a personality disorder, but I didn't understand what caused it or how to explain it to a patient in a way that they 1) believed me, and 2) understood what I was talking about. These patients are often misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, and before I found IFS I almost never saw someone recover or improve.
A social worker directed me to do some research into Internal Family Systems therapy and I eventually stumbled across "Self-Therapy". This book not only helps you diagnose yourself, (ie. "what is causing me to feel and act this way?") but also how to treat yourself. I am gradually coming to believe that Internal Family Systems therapy is the only type of therapy that is more than marginally effective for healing this type of emotional injury. I find myself recommending this book to one of my patients on at least a weekly basis. It doesn't hold the solution for every emotional problem, but it's one of the best tools I've found for my mental health arsenal. If nothing else, it can really help you understand others' behavior better.
I initially read this book trying to help my patients. In the end it has also helped my family, my marriage, and my personal happiness. Color me impressed.
29 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
High quality book
By D. Dunn
I think the book is excellent - I've already recommended it to numerous people. Internal Family Systems is the best thing I'm come across in the psych world in the course of reading a fair number of psych books in my 44 years, and this book by Earley does a great job of explaining it.
IFS is not the simplest thing in the world to explain in writing, yet the book nails it by combining clear illustrations, good organization and thoughtful writing. It also has numerous exercises you can do yourself. And a section of tips on doing IFS with a partner, and on working with a therapist.
The book is written to be accessible to the general public, which is the only broad-based introductory IFS book I know of yet that is in good measure written for the public (i.e. not written for therapists). It's largely written for the person who will be going through therapy or wants to practice IFS on their own or with a partner. I think even having the awareness of the concepts and info will help most people, even if they don't do the exercises.
The great thing about the above is it gives IFS a better chance of making a bigger impact on the world than is possible simply through therapists. There are only so many therapists, and only some know much IFS and relatively few have been trained in it, or are now slated to be trained.
Besides letting more people do it on their own, I think IFS therapists in general will benefit from it because I think a good number of people who read it and find IFS appealing will at some point in the upcoming years of their life will go to an IFS therapist to experience the added benefits of therapy or tackle harder things that need a therapist. Kind of like how the Grateful Dead became the highest grossing tour band in the U.S. because they let people record their concerts and share copies for free. More people got copies of the music, liked it and then went to concerts, bought t-shirts and bought CDs. The more people who are introduced to IFS through books like this, the more the average IFS therapist will have people knocking on their door looking to do it.
One small note is that while the tagline of the book mentions "healing your inner child," my impression is that according to IFS and to the author (Earley) and my own experience of myself, most people are healing several inner parts of themselves, including some adult parts that are not serving them well. While I don't care about sub-titles, I thought I would mention the above to clarify in case it's needed for anyone that this is not some half-baked new age book talking only about healing an inner child. As the first half of the tagline conveys, IFS works with all parts of our personality, and tries to get all aspects of who we are more healthy to better serve us. Healing the childish parts of us that are often unconscious is certainly an important part of the process, and the book is a multi-dimensional approach to those parts and other parts of who we are.
In case you haven't heard of IFS, it is a respected psychological system and is used primarily by licensed therapists and clinics, and recommended by many respected leaders in the field. The founder of it was the co-author of one of the best selling textbooks on marriage and family therapy used by universities, and who taught at one of the top schools in the country. It's not a passing fad and not a new-age gimmick with the aim of selling books. IFS is not family therapy - Schwartz used the systematic thinking common in family therapy to discover that we have our own internal set of sub-personalities or parts that combine to form who we are. Often some of the parts are on track and some are not, and need some assistance from us in coming to serve us better.
The book focuses on how you can learn what the parts of yourself are, how they operate, and how you can help them learn and mature to become better at serving you. Doing so takes time. Don't expect to read this book or any book, and have easy answers or have most things figured out just like that. It takes ongoing time and attention. My guess is that most people will need to read the book again in a year and delve deeper in the second time.
Overall, the writing in Self-Therapy is lucid and understandable, without dumbing down. I think the book would also be helpful to therapists looking for a strong intro to IFS, or to therapists who know some about IFS and want to know more. When you consider that the founder Richard Schwartz was able to help a lot of people when he first started doing IFS, and it was only part-way developed when he first started doing it and he had no book with lots of details explaining it to help him, I would assume that a high quality therapist could read this book and begin using some of the concepts in their practice.
If you click on my profile, you'll see that I'm a real person, and that I give things poor ratings as well as good ones, and that I don't often give something such a strong review.
If you stumbled across this book while surfing the net, I strongly recommend you plop down the small cost to get it. It might well change your life. And at the least, I think almost all people will get at least $15 of value from it, enough to be worth the cost. It's very rare that I find a book I can say that about.
33 of 33 people found the following review helpful.
The missing manual for my brain
By Divia
Reading Self-Therapy was extremely illuminating--as though someone had given me the missing manual for my brain. I now have difficulty imagining how I functioned without this understanding and perspective, and I think the short answer is that I didn't function nearly as well. This book is a reliable, straightforward set of instructions for transforming any unhealthy behavior or thought pattern, and releasing any unwanted emotional response. If that sounds too good to be true, it's also completely fun to do the work: I get to go into a trance state, peek behind the curtain of my mind, become conscious of what is driving my behavior, and solve the problem by being creative with imagery.
This book is a very clearly written and easy to understand set of instructions for doing IFS therapy, which is so powerful that I am somewhat confused about why everyone isn't using it. Self-Therapy profoundly improved my effectiveness at accomplishing my goals and increased my overall sense of well-being. I recommend it to everyone I know.
If you do read the book, my one recommendation is to actually try the process outlined within on yourself, preferably with a friend to help. It took me a while to figure out how to use the system, but ever since I have done so I have a method I know will work for gaining clarity, changing behavior patterns, and have fun while doing it, so no problem in my life feels intractable and suffering seems entirely optional. It's that powerful. Let this book change your life.
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