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Everyone's Reading Bastard, by Nick Hornby
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Bestselling author Nick Hornby (“High Fidelity,” “Fever Pitch,” “About a Boy,” “Juliet, Naked”) is a virtuoso at love gone wrong. In his new short story, “Everyone’s Reading Bastard,” Hornby paints a wincingly comic picture of just how messy modern relationships can become, as his characters hit delightful new lows of cruelty, misery, and pettiness.
Newspaper columnist Elaine Harris has always written about her life with husband Charlie. Her editor and her legions of readers count on full disclosure from her, but what no one—least of all Charlie—anticipates, only a week after the couple decide to end their marriage, is the speed and inventiveness with which she begins to try him in the court of public opinion. On Monday morning, it’s a smirk by a forgettable former lover that first clues him in that something’s wrong. Then, before he’s settled in at his desk, another co-worker salutes Charlie with the title of Elaine’s new column: “Bastard!” A quick check online leads him to the column, the subtitle leaving little doubt as to what he’s in for: “Life with an Ex. He’s Gone but Not Forgotten.” Charlie’s only hope is that Elaine will get bored and abandon the weekly column—a colorful litany of his failures as a partner, father, breadwinner, and lover—or that it won’t catch on. But soon enough it’s a multimedia feeding frenzy, and everyone’s reading Bastard! And for Charlie, that’s a bitch.
Only a storyteller like Hornby—who’s given us so many unforgettable novels of comedy and heartbreak—could conceive of an average guy trying to survive an ex’s wrath gone viral. Witty and wise, outlandish and human, his latest rollicking account of love’s fallout should be instructive: Sometimes no one wins. Sorry, Charlie.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nick Hornby is the author of the memoir “Fever Pitch” and six novels, including “High Fidelity,” “About a Boy,” and, most recently, “Juliet, Naked.” He is also the author of “Songbook,” a finalist for a National Book Critics Circle Award for music criticism, and editor of the short-story collection “Speaking with the Angel.” His screenplay for “An Education” was nominated for an Academy Award. He lives in North London.
- Sales Rank: #365366 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-06-29
- Released on: 2012-06-29
- Format: Kindle eBook
Amazon.com Review
After six wildly successful novels and as many hopelessly endearing protagonists, Nick Hornby has proven himself king of the literary man-child. You can tell a Hornby guy from a kilometer away: He's self-flagellating, insecure, sporadically insightful, and such an adorable mess that you'll probably wind up married to him before you can say "no thanks" to the drink and run away. There's just something about that kind of fellow, and Hornby has an excellent specimen on offer in Everyone's Reading Bastard. Hapless Charlie and his much more attractive and successful wife, Elaine--the author's other specialty--have just split up. A journalist with a talent for emotional exhibitionism, Elaine promptly launches a column in her popular Sunday newspaper. It's called "Bastard," and it's all about our man Charlie. He can't blame her, really ("If there had been a fork in the road at any point in his life, then he hadn't noticed it," Charlie admits). But he can deeply resent, feebly refute, then finally come to terms with her wrath. His journey is equal parts hilarious and frustrating, and only Nick Hornby could pack it so well into this appetizer-size story. Another drink? Thanks, I believe I will. --Mia Lipman
From AudioFile
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Proves he's earned all this fans
By J Harveld
What I like about these Byliner publications is that you get what feels like a whole book in a short or shorter read. I've been following all this publisher's releases since I read the Krakauer story on that pretender philanthropist Mortenson. I don't really know Nick Hornby's work -- my daughters do. All I knew was that he's well loved out there, popular, and in this short story (which is what this is, by the way), he proves he's earned all his fans -- he's a lively prose stylist, a terrific humorist with great comic timing, and a really fine observer of human failings, men's and women's. You get the whole breadth of this guy's life here: his failed marriage, his wife's large-scale assault on him in the press (what an exercise in humiliation!), how stuck he is in a job and a way of living, and how helpless he is against all of it, at the end of the day -- and the story is still funny. Highly recommended from this reader, new to Hornby. Plus, you'll feel a whole lot better about your marriage, I bet.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Everyone should read "Bastard"
By B. Praeger
This story was a lot of fun, and Hornby does a great job fleshing out a character in a short amount of time. Much like his other writing, it's rare to find a page without a few great lines. The idea of an ex writing a tell-all column is a great premise, but it could have easily been wasted had Hornby made the main character a good guy who was simply being libeled by his ex, but it's much more interesting that he is sort of a bastard. He's not a worse person than everyone else, but he's certainly not perfect, and that's what keeps the story interesting.
As a man married to a journalist who often writes columns about her life, I guess this could also be a cautionary tale for me. For Hornby fans, or anyone looking for a fairly light but entertaining half-hour read, "Everyone's Reading Bastard" is a bargain.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Everyone's reading Hornby
By Sam Quixote
Charlie gets divorced from Elaine and, suddenly free of her ex-husband's presence, Elaine begins writing about Charlie in her weekly column titled "Bastard" published in a national newspaper. And, much to Charlie's horror, she is writing about everything - his bad habits, his sexual performance, his parenting faux pas - everything she hated about him and their marriage. And now everyone can read about it!
Nick Hornby's struck upon an interesting idea for a story but it quickly becomes clear why this became a short story and not a novel - besides the setup, nothing much happens. Charlie is publicly shamed for being an inattentive lover, a less-than-brilliant father, and a philanderer, but otherwise the concept doesn't advance much beyond the column being published each week and Charlie being embarrassed every time. And then it ends rather abruptly.
I thought the scene where Charlie and Helena, the victim of a competing column written by a vengeful husband called "Bitch", awkwardly get together in a hotel room one afternoon was funny, and the story is amusing enough for the most part. But it's not up there with Hornby's better short story efforts like the brilliant "Otherwise Pandemonium" and "Not a Star".
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